Success Stories
There’s No Such Thing as, ‘Where’s Mr. Bledsoe?’
Kelvin Bledsoe is an accomplished man.
He’s a lieutenant colonel in the U.S. Army Reserve, the director of community development for the Urban League of Palm Beach County, an active member of his fraternity and a father of three college-educated children.
But if you ask Mr. Bledsoe where he’s made the biggest impact, he might just point to his 30 years of mentoring.
Beginning in college, Mr. Bledsoe has been a sounding board for more than 100 youth – 20 with whom he’s worked closely. He says he’s not lining up for any medals, though. He’s just doing what’s right.
“I think nobody should get any credit or reward for doing what they should be doing. We should help,” he says. “If someone thinks I did a great job as a mentor, that’s fine. But the bottom line, I’ve got to be true to God and true to the people in front of me.
“That’s what I should do.”
Build Trust
So year after year, child after child, Mr. Bledsoe has perfected his role as mentor.
And it starts, he says, by building trust.
“The most important thing is you’ve got to meet the kids where they’re at. So many times as adults we have our own ideas, ‘this is what’s wrong with the kids, this is what they need to do.’ This is a failed philosophy.”
Instead, Mr. Bledsoe emphasizes that mentors need to understand a child’s goals, dreams and motivations – and work with the child to help him get where he wants to go.
But the first step, he says, is simply sticking around.
“Let them know you’re not just a fly-by-night, that you’ll do one great program, deliver a turkey, and you’re gone," he says. “The biggest way to build trust is not to run away if the kid initially seems more troubled. Just stick there and give your heart to it.”
Be Real
To be a successful mentor – to really make a difference in a child’s life, Mr. Bledsoe advises, you have to be committed.
That means, he says, “being real to what you’re saying, what you’re doing. Not just making it a job, a check in a box to put on my resume.”
That also means being there even after the formal mentoring relationship is over.
“There’s no such thing as, ‘Where’s Mr. Bledsoe?’ ” he adds. “I’m always there. You can always reach out.”
Pass It On
By reaching out, building trust and being real, Mr. Bledsoe says he’s gained as much as he’s given. And that’s why he encourages others to mentor as well – especially those who were lucky enough as children to be guided through the rough waters of adolescence by a dedicated, committed mentor.
“The benefits of money and fame and fortune will absolutely leave you,” Mr. Bledsoe says firmly.” But the love and admiration or friendship of a child will never leave you.”
Buddy and Corey
Buddy, 62, and Corey, 11, were matched February 2006 and began participating in the MODEL Mentoring Program at Children's Home Society. The MODEL Program provides mentors for children who have an incarcerated parent. Children ages 4-18 can be referred to the program; mentors must be 21 years of age or older, complete the application and commit one hour a week to mentoring a child for a year.
Buddy heard about mentoring from his wife, who is also a mentor in the program. Corey was referred by his afterschool program.
Recently, Buddy has said his mentoring relationship with Corey has grown well beyond the one-on-one time. As a result, his whole family has become involved in volunteering in the afterschool program that Corey attends, along with his sister.
During the summer, Buddy, his wife and sons go once a week for an hour and half to teach swimming to
Corey and the kids at his summer camp. Buddy and his family also volunteer at least once a week at the afterschool program that Corey and his sister attend. And Buddy and his family make it a point to attend special functions like the end-of-year awards and holiday programs.
Buddy says that when he's at the afterschool program, he mixes fun with educational things. As a result, Corey has shown improvement in schoolwork. The extra attention Buddy has given to studies has led Corey in the right direction. Buddy says Corey has matured greatly in the last four years. at the beginning of the match, Buddy says, when Corey was troubled by something he would become very quiet and not share what was bothering him. It was difficult for Corey because he had not developed a high level of trust in Buddy yet. Corey was concerned that Buddy would not be around for very long.
Now, Corey rarely solves problems by going into his shell. Buddy says Corey is very bright and Buddy is working hard to show Corey that there is a strong connection between life successes and education.
Buddy says some of the their additional activities include bike riding, going the local park/playground, visiting the library, going swimming and to the beach. They've also gone to Busch Wildlife Center, the movies, out to dinner, and attended baseball games.
Buddy signed Corey up, and provides transportation and support, for youth basketball, and boating. Buddy helped Corey learn how to play basketball, and he got on his first basketball team. Buddy told Corey that winning is good but it takes a while to learn the game, and it is important to show respect to his teammates.
Corey says Buddy told him “when you talk to people to look them in the eye.” And he added that Buddy and his family treat him like he is a member of their family.
Buddy says he and Corey hit it off from Day One.“He is a good looking, smart boy with a great smile,” Buddy says. Buddy says Corey is also very thoughtful and considerate of others. “He was a real favorite with his basketball coaches - not because he was the star but because he was very unselfish and gave 110%.”
One of the unique things about this match was that Buddy was 62 years old and white, and Corey was 11 years old and African-American. There are many years between them, but age is not a factor. Buddy is a former teacher and a coach, and he truly loves being a mentor and making a difference in this young person’s life. There is also a genuine trust and bond between these two that really is evident when you see them together. All in all, it's a very inspiring match.